My Worse Regret

I lost my trust on you.....Before days, people will mocked me with stupid, idiot for trusting you...
But reality, I'm blinded!!! Now, I realized what are you doing, stabbing me with as many knives as you can....My friends have been warning, advising me, but what I care is just...YOU!!!
And what you have done to me......betraying and back stabbing me!!!

A small damn matter, which you have promised to not tell anyone can be one of your gossip topics...Is this the way you get self happiness??Bullshit!!!

Hey, what you get from defeating me!!!! Why you need to do so???people normally think I'm crazy to stick around you, now I'm regretting!!!! A lot !!!!!

I have my patience and limit, don't try to tease me.....You people would think I'm a doll, easy to defeat me...You guys never, in fact no one, except my family have seen my true colour!!!

DON'T FORCE ME TO DO SO!!!!YOU WILL REGRET FOR STABBING ME!!!!

A Post For Me To ShoutOUT!!

There is something going around my mind and heart, striking through them and creating pain. Not just ordinary pain, but its disappointment, a feeling being left out.

We are friends for long period of time...To the universe, we got certain nicknames...Some called us sisters, twins...Basically, We are glued to each other. Thats what the world thinks. I even heard of someone saying: " If you find him, just looking for "him" and you will find him". How disappointing am I when hearing such joyful comments about us. But in my opinion, I think we didn't reach that level yet, or should I say, still very very far from it.

Everyday, I am dealing with my aching feelings and emotions...Think back the time when we were first met, still that innocent look we both portrayed, and the freshly spoken words and laughters, I still imagine those happiness we had in our past times.. Lately, I even cried thinking about our nostalgic moments. Only Yiing Chau knows about it..( Thanks for sharing my EMO moments, ah Chau)

I am damn pissed off when people came bugging me asked about your things:"Why he so EMO today?? You both fight arr?? Why he so happy today??Who is his new lover??blah blah blah......" I don't have answers for those questions, I don't even know what is happening to him lately....Others know more things about him....People said I should know more than anyone, but the point is, its not???

These are all just my opinion...I don't think I'm wrong to express my feelings on my blog.. If I'm wrong, I need to know why I'm wrong...Perhaps we need to talk, a long heart to heart talk.....Even we had the chance, I don't think I'm dare to ask you all that questions.....Because the gap between me and you seems to be growing day by day.

Next year, you will be in another continent.. To say frankly, I will be damn missing you!!! In secondary school, a lot of guys came to me, asking why am I still befriend with you...My answer is: " He is honest with himself and he doesn't like to put face mask over his feelings.....If he dislikes something, just shoot it out...." Tomorrow we might be here, together, laughing or crying...But later, its only our memories and those pictures we have taken will be the significance of our past life. Until now, I'm still thinking you are my best friend. I can't bare the time when we are specchless in car, don't know what to say. Because I don't have topics to talk with you...Why?? Why?? WHy??...........This is not the first time I'm asking this question to myself...( Again if Im wrong, please correct me, because I want to know whats going on and I need to know before we separate without telling each other a friendly " bye " )

On my Bday

Morning, after being awaken by the annoying colour-changing alarm clock ( it does change it colours when u press it...It's like a hypnotizing aid!!hehe ), four people stood around me..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! haha...its my family lah!!! I checked my handphone for any messages ( its a part of my daily routine ), I saw Yi Shuang's 2 msgs...I cried.....( when the lift opened, I saw your house's light is off )....I miss every seconds there!!!

Im so excited that day, because I was imagining what's going to happen in INTI later.....We had celebrations for some friends in INTI before, so I thought there will be some surprises for me....( haha..im cheap....but sure everyone has a hope in their mind mah...me oso like tat lo....!!! )

When I steped up to 4th floor, the floor was quiet.." wah, what a cold welcome...tks by the way!!) I waited until 10 am ( my chemistry class )... I went in, some of my friends scream HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUMAR!!!U ARE 18 LIAO!!!...." wah, thank GOD there's still people remembered my Bday...."And Miss Dorothy wished me too.....haha!!! At the lab, the twins( Tameer and Saameer Pani ), two Priyas wished me too...Thanks!!

Later, 12pm..... The hallway was crowded with people...As usual, I walked to CLHS geng....Yiing Chau wished me...Then I saw Xiang Yih...I was damn excited at that moment because he gave me hints that Im going to receive something special for my Bday...." ssssssssss..........." He came to me, with a weird smile....then he opened his bag!!!! " OMG..WATS THAT!!!" " Nah, my gift to you..."

" There's still more, open it now!!..." I became much more tense than before....Once i opened it:

OMG!!! My favourite pipa player's signature and he wrote my name on it.... I almost cried, so I hugged Xiang Yih for a while..... So sweet!!! To me lah.... Although its a DVD, to me it means a lot... Thanks Xiang Yih, Xi Ying and Hong Wei!!!!

After our lunch, as usual wen to our cubical to chat and make noise....We are good for it!!! Suddenly, someone called me from the 1st cubical ( I think its Wayne lah...) When I went there, I think June Wynn asked me: " Izzit today your birthday? " I said : " ya... " after that, she start to sing Happy Birthday to me loudly...I a few seconds the whole floor sang!!!! OMG...its loud!!! After the song ends, everyone cheer and clap hands!! I was so shy and dunno what to tell...Guys and girls, thanks for that!! I was so happy...Its better than what I was imagined.....

1pm, Maths Extension 1 class. I went in without showing its my birthday. Once I entered the class, all the students screamed " HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"..even Ms Yap was screaming too....WOW!!! Then she said:" Lets give him a big card!!" then she use half of the white board to draw...She was the first one to write, followed by all the others in the class...

Look carefully in this photo....

Seriously, I was touched... Thank you all so much and Ms Yap.....

Right after that, Biology. Once Ms Shirley entered, Wayne shouted: " Today is Kumar's birthday!!!" Then she came to me and said: " Happy Bday Kumar"..... Then, Vickram and Kaillash run to me and hugged me...They were not happy as I did tell them about my birthday....Sorry la!!! Then Shailaja and Bhairavi wished me too.....Hehe..... I remembered Elu wants to give me a Ferrari...hehe...Im waiting Elu!!!

I received SMS from my friends too... Like Kai Yee, Huan Li, Yeh Chern, Natalie, Vickram ( he SMSed me when sitting beside me during Bio class ), Yong Liang ( during english class ).. Some wished me through MSN, like Yi kar and Xi Ying( she is hillarious..HAHA!!!).. And even some surprised wishes on Facebbok..Like Ms Leela, Jae, Jay Moy, Ipsita and Julia...and even Jameson and Allan Tan Kean Yang!!! thanks to Facebook and Friendster Birthday Alarm!! There's a lot of people to thanked for the warm hugs, gift, gigantic card, song and wishes...

I hereby thank all the people that I cared... Thank you all so so so so so so so mucccchh!!!!...........
( If I left out anything, please forgive me!!! )

L changes the world

Everyone has knowledge...everyone has their own specialty, uniqueness allocated deep in their self. Showing off for wat??!!! People cant bear you.....have you ever felt that before???? Are we bunch of stupid heads to you!! Hello...waky waky......WE have top ranked students of HSC.....with brilliant thinking skill and powerful determination....maybe SHE will love your knowledge( or perhaps its true)..fall for your uncertified informations..... and get attracted to your invertebraeness....

You think SHE will be your masquerade over your XXX side??? If SHE agrees, excuse me and my partner to give HER the slap of HER life....hoe stupid a girl should be!!!! stupid!!stupid!!stupid!!!
( The identity of SHE will not be clarified....If you think your are smart enough, Im sure you can think of it..Dont try any way to dig it from me...... If you asked me, silence or ignorance will be the appropriate answer.... ) I have a question: Are you gay or straight?? To me ......you are.....( you know la!! )

Knowing extra languages, good for you...But showing them off...HMM..well.......Bad for you ofcourse!!! Do you ever think what people will think of you when open your valveless mouth!!!! Annoying you know!!!!! Totally..Unbearable.... I don't wanna write much about you...As Im not the first one.........

Advice to readers:
1. Avoid masks
2. Say no to alcohols.....especially when you cant close your mouth....
3. Dont ever try to show off..... You are not the good one...
4. Dont 10 your driving skills ( especially drifting parts ).....You will never know when you will be the victim of it..so SHUT UP BITCH!!!
5. If no support, have a stick with..because not every man will lend you their shoulders
6. Lastly...
If you have got a chance to know this kind of people, please isolate yourself from him as far as you can!!! You will thank me later!!!

P.S. L is a pun

Sarting of the Break

After being several weeks of hardwork, fighting against ticking of the clock and torn sheets of calender, being stressing up my eyes and brain, that's what I've got to face the war this week. It's still ok, but its pathetic, full with fear and tension, whether how am I going to pass with flying colours. Some subjects I did with full confidence, but some its still ok, hoping to get some lucky news when I head back to the college. Until then, it's break now guys!!! Before Mathematics is finishing, I've heard some buddies wondering aroound the corridor, cheering, shouting and laughing loud to express the satisfaction, the tiredness after being so depressed and the temporary freedom from that tight and killing syllabus.

After blamming for self-mistakes and heartbreaking discussions on the past papers, everyone tune their exam mood to crazy mood, to a feeling to dive into the break with some relaxing and enjoyable outings. Im one of them..HAHAHAH...XD!!! Laer after the test, we( Me, Xiang Yih, Ting Kian, Her Wuen, Pey Yee, Ewe Jiunn, U Wen ) went to Queesnbay Mall. We went to have an "exotic" brunch with toilets-----T Bowl!!! Having hillarious and disgusting brunch with them, is totally a pleasure... Really!!! Speaking in Alien Language( which official known as African Language ), watching Ting Kian and Her Wuen struggling to understand conversation between me and Xiang Yih and having funny time of speaking each words with lots of interjections....So funny and naive!!!Haha..... Can't really imagine they made the day so crazy and unforgettable. Today, there are some special guest( U Wen and Ewe Jiunn)..Wah..Ewe Jiunn can be crazy too....hehe....He had some difficult experience of eating with his butt on the toilet bowl... U wen is so quiet in the whole time..maybe he don't understand or interested with our topics...Unpredictable... Pey Yee had some ice-cream splash all over the table..With a grape...hehe... The whole restaurant in full of annoying and sharp laughters...You know why???......Because it's us!!! hahaha

Later, we went to see

At first, I taught it was some lame movie to watch, my taughts were even stronger when I saw the almost empty scene in the theater, made me taught I'm wasting my RM6......Never mind, at least I can have a new experience going out for a movie with my college friends.. In the theater, we saw Zhe Cheng and Kai Li, they came to sit with us, filling up the top row with familiar faces. During watching, we were all disturbed by the dramatic laugh made some uncivilised "kampung boys", keep on adding laughters to uncorrect moments of the show, at certain time, some scene are not funny but they keep on laughing with high amplitude. Later, we made some plans... We decided to have "laugh war". On the count of 3, 2 ,1...... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Then they started to laugh with usu, to see who is better.. However, we have Olympic Gold Medalist in laughing....We win the fight easily....!!! I was wrong about the movie, it's basically a funny movie, and a very inspirational movie to those people who are thinking of their belly that affects your love or marriage life. The movie has some discrimination towards the main character, Paul Blart and later Amy, a girl that attracts him gives him a sense of belonging and love, which is so touching when they both kissed at the final scene. The movie gets up to peak of hillarious when it comes to the climax, where the mall is being controlled by some gangster to rob their money and even gaught some citizen as hostages. The mall cop take some funny but brilliant measures to save his girlfriend and his daughter. Nice and relaxing movie to watch, to free from your hypertension and mental stress...

After the movie, we wondered for a while then we all left Queensbay. On the way to the carpark, me and Xiang Yih saw Chong Sim, going into a hair saloon!!!! OMG!!! We went to Chung Ling to see all our juniors how are they doing these days. Nothing special there, just boring like always. I missed to go out for a night coffee with my friends...Haiz..... Hope to see more fun activities coming in this break!!Omg...Saturday is MUET!!! Got to go..Now!!! Stay tune for more blogs!! XD

Sequel of Life in Inti - Beautiful Beginning

In the last series, I've told you all about the condition in Inti, how I was introduced to the new environment and new range of studies.. How I was introduced to others by my personality ( how I shocked people with my Mandarin....There are certain funny chaos regarding this )..And how are people communicate with me...

This time, of course it will be in detail!! I liked my Inti friends a lot....Especially the noisiest and happiest gang!!!!( High Class Bitch, Piggy, Lion King, Hong Chu, Ben(Ban) 10, 走开拉(Go Away) )
I get along with them better during this study break. We studied together in the college. The environment is really noisy, becouse of HCB, she is so talkative( she admits it!!)...Not just studies, we shared many things like jokes, funny videos( Happy Tree Frinds, Ken Lee, Tuts My Barreh), and certain top secret gossips!!!Wow....I taught I was free from the torture of " The Gossip Devil "..But I'm still stucked in the middle of it.....However, those gossips are so fresh, blasting, alluring and so much X-rated!!!Haha....

Seriously:"I hope everyday can go college!!!After CLHSCO, they add extra flavours and colours to my life..... I was really stunned and totally attracted with their speeching style( WTF, OMB.......Originated from HCB )...... So much beautiful chaos between us...just no XY...If he is there too...WOW!!!!

First time went Queesnbay with them, and its self-driving!!! They helped me with my parking....( Touched with contents on Her wuen's blog..thanks!!!) Things in Inti is getting to blast and extreme.....I loved life in Inti!!!!

"Guys....This is our beautiful beginning of our truthful friendship.....Hope nothing can breaks us apart...I experienced the same feeling as how I felt when I'm in CLHSCO.....Can't wait to giggle and chuckle with you guys tomorrow!!! And don't forget, good luck to all of you in the coming Mid Term.....GAMBATEH!!!!

To be continued........

韵艺。酝忆

早期，我听到这个主题后，我真的感到奇怪“又在是万成很深的华语”。但更深一步的了解后，领悟了一句对每个钟中华乐团团友都很有意义的精华！！

“ 韵艺，四十年的音乐层次
酝忆，四十年的累积故事 ”
最近我有回校看你们的练习，状况真的令我感到提心吊胆，尤其是初中组合奏
曲目虽简单，但听说你们奏得很烂。
到了昨晚，我们都期待着如何你们要以“那个程度”表演
有些毕业生还说肯定没有爆满，但我还是希望会真的爆满
结果，接近八点时，几乎整个音乐厅给爆满了，虽然满了，但还是有很多入厅
所有毕业生都吓到，我们一些就连忙站起来让位给别人坐
我们就坐在地上看音乐会。。。一直在期待你们的演出
就这样仪式也过了
第一首是鼓乐重奏
开始紧张。。心越跳越快！
听了鼓乐，心几乎放松些
“哇！！比练习好很多。。好紧爆！！”
最紧张的时刻就到了———两首初中组合奏
老实说，我觉得那两首歌都给我记下很浓厚的印象
虽然有些差错，但我听到的都是新生们的积极，尽力，努力
看到全部演员都很可爱，天真，活泼
给我想起我当年上的第一场乐团的音乐会
我最喜欢昨晚的《在那遥远的地方》了
很有怀念的感觉，很感动
我差点哭出来
还有其它回忆：
~ 陈亨律的独奏
~ Harrison 打木琴
~ 俊民的柳琴协奏
~ 智权的第一次的solo
~ 万成的指挥
~ 圣扬的唢呐
~ 航澍的《火把节之夜》

我停凯壹硕果：“看自己乐团的演出，感觉是不同的。。。虽然有问题，但还是会很喜欢的”
我享受你们奏的每个音符，欣赏你们如波浪形的台风
第一次看自己的孩子，孙子表演
满感动的！！我很爱你们！！你们永远是最佳的！！
加油加油！！
GAMBATEH CLHSＣＯ！！！！
钟中华乐团能！！
“同一个乐团，同一个梦想”

Rainy Day

Dark moment everywhere
Black sky-eaters spread all over that light blue endless space
Covering up that radiant smile of the Mighty Golden Ball
Along came some stunning thunderclaps, with some quick flash of lightnings
Drops of clear water, or should I say the tears of the Father
People on the roadside started wondering for a temporary shelter
To hide themselves from the guest from the Mother Nature
To care their wonderful wardrobes from that sudden shower
The black tar road was covered with colouful mushrooms
A beautiful chaos of human running away to face the battle with the rain
Drop by drop
Hit on the concrete roof of houses
Creating kinda urban rhythm
Without any perfect tune or beat
And even with uneven tempo
Those drops of euphoria
Arousing childhood memory lane of mine
Riding on time machine back to those free days
Without killing pollution
The braveness of us to to wet ourselves in those muddy pools
Get soaked with rain leftover
Being childish and sailing Titanic with fellow siblings and buddies
Those innocent cherish face
Those ticklish laughters
Those playful acts
All stayed as past memories deep inside my blood pumper
Sitting by a lazy rocking chair
With a cozy cushion beneath my butt
Sort of comfort seat for me to enjoy that free show
With a cup of thick and hot Mocha
Sip in small amount of flavour
That warm texture of Mocha
With the seducing aroma that stimulates all my nerves
What a pleasant moment
Eyes watched over those huge mountain in the distance
Partially covered with snowy hog
Like a shy princess covering her face with expensive white China silk
Rainy day is the most passionate time
When some one get totally wet after that free shower
Someone you loved will use a soft towel
Wiping your soaked hair
Blow your body with dryer
When your outfit was totally wet by the guest
Your toned body will be shaped out
Arousing a kind of lusty emotion of your loved one
Being crazy from that sizzling hot days
Now with those uninvited guest
We placed each of our precious step onto a icy floor
A kind of feeling to find someone to hug you
To blow your freezing face with his/her warm breath
To someone
Rainy day can be lonely moment
To them
Rain drops creating grief scenario to them
Rain is always a great and important philosophy in our life
Rain is described as challenges of life
Rain of course bothered you with plenty of problems
Dilemma, Uneasiness, Moody
But after that cold war
Ending will be a fantastic spectrum of rainbow

Life in INTI....

INTI, has became a new environment for me in this Year of Ox.It gave me the first step to world of complicated studies. Here, I met many sorts of people, and yet they are complicated. As an Indian that survived in the Chinese society for 13 years, it's hard for me to mix with such and multiracial group of friends, especially Indians. They are very nice to me, and yet I can't find a slot to fit myself into their circle of friends. They eat lunch together, they go everywhere together, yet they are from my culture, religiou beliefs, language(althought there is a slight difference) and race. We are the same. But together, they looks like a happy family. I have a nice time in INTI with my best friend in my life, Xiang Yih that shares many things together with me. " I think he understands my feeling la.." However, I still wanted to become the gang of Indian friends' good friend. I hope to speak Tamil with them everytime. When I talk to them, I found myself as Indian.

If talking about studies, ofcourse it's much easier than A-Levels and STPM syllabuses, however they are giving me slight pressure, as people there are stronger, scared my UAI will be bad. Next week is my first assessment, a bit preesure, until I can't really concentrate on my driving today. Even the instructor can see my study pressure. I think she read my mind. Other than that, I was voted as the Operation Director of the club of School of Science and Maths. ( I can't believe that I'm voted the second highest among all the other commitee members. )

Yesterday and today, INTI had kind of Valentine's Day events such as wearing clothes according to the colors, board to express love and flower selling.....I saw my name on the board where confess thier "love" to me....Haha...tks guyz!!!!And today, some indian girls, with hand bouquets came to me and said" thanks Kumar"...I said "what?!"..Then I heard groups of peoplae, especially those are same class as me they are telling and teasing me that I'm not a simple guy.. OMG...I dont know how to react..But girls, I didn't buy any bouquets...Sorry

Conclusion, I'm so so much happy in INTI...haha..the story will be continued..If I have time, I will write my life in INTI here..haha...GTG...Bye

未来的第一天

5th January 2009
“醒来啦！！来不及了！！快快！！”又在听到妈妈的尖叫声！！看到电话里的时钟，正指着6.30am..
慢慢地去梳洗，还懒散的样子。。。“咳！这么啦？今天是第一天上大学，就是这样的样子上课吗？！”
还差点穿错校服！！一阵子，突然让我怀念之前这一天是我穿校服上学的。但现在，都没机会了。虽然我讨厌校服，但穿它上学也是个可爱的回忆！！

“不要想过去事了，让他们成为生活中的童话，为现在及未来想吧！！”就这样，就他入了INTI大门
祥艺在四楼等我，见了他，就走走一下，就进了各自的班啦。

咳！！一天在大学很快就过了。。。。明天死啦！！整天都有课。。完蛋了！！要去准备啦。。祝大家加油！！

2008 Memories.....

今年，可算是我人生中最重要及特别的一年。很多事情都是我生活里的第一次。。 真得很怀念去年，还是昨天？？时间真的过得超快，都不能知觉到时间的流动。

2008年是我：
~ 第一年跟乐团最好的朋友出国（中国）演出
~ 第一次急着从中国凌晨到槟城过后直接上学
~ 第一次达到一生在钟灵的愿望，那就是读A班（HAHA!!)
~ 第一次受到A班同学作弊得到优等成绩的压力（尤其是零机价）
~ 第一去听铜乐队音乐会
~ 第一次爱上“你”
~ 第一次选对了我未来的人生之路
~ 第一次对Vampire 感兴趣
~ 第一次感觉被朋友“抛弃”的痛苦
~ 第一次感到向“你”告白的害羞和恐怕
~ 第一次与老师吵架（好冒险！！）
~ 第一次因为“他”而跟你们有了纠纷
~ 第一次爱上北京奥运会的闭幕及开幕典礼
~ 第一次感兴趣腰追所有的连续剧
~ 第一次怀念Pokemon 而追回所有的Pokemon连续剧
~ 第一次崇拜刘德海大师
~ 第一次感兴趣要见刘德海大师
~ 第一次想要演奏刘德海《人生篇》之《天鹅》
~ 第一次羡慕张强
~ 第一次想要得到刘德海的《人生篇》
~ 第一次想要演奏琵琶协奏《花木兰》以及二胡琵琶双协奏《天缘》
~ 第一次办一场完全没有毕业生演奏的音乐会
~ 第一次奏了“雄风”的作品曲子（紫露）
~ 第一次演奏琵琶协奏曲《怒》（最怀念的乐）
~ 第一次奏了我好朋友的二胡协奏曲（陈宏伟的《燕子》）
~ 第一次比了槟城里的全国华乐合奏大赛（《庆典序曲》金奖）
~ 第一次与新生玩得这么开心和惊暴
~ 第一次没有Form6大哥比了国际华乐节，还有一大队可爱及有潜能的新生的参与
~ 第一次在国际华乐节货的辉煌成就，凯旋而归
* 大合奏《长城随想曲》 金奖
* 阮咸重奏《月光变奏曲》 荣誉金奖
* 二胡齐奏《战马奔腾》 荣誉金奖
* 江南丝竹《欢乐歌》 金奖
~ 第一次在比赛前狂练到生病
~ 第一次感到吓人的伤心和放松
~ 第一次感到音乐会后的空缺
~ 第一次感到SPM得可怕和刺激
~ 第一次考SPM
~ 第一次与我的阮咸朋友在Friendship concert 表演
~ 第一次与思贤，凯壹和俊杰玩得这么疯狂，开心，感动和温暖
~ 第一次当paparazzi
~ 第一次从“你”收到最特别的礼物
~ 第一次与乐团出国交流（新加坡- 莱佛士书院，立化中学）
~ 第一次坐过山车（刺激啊！！）
~ 第一次从乐团手中获取“最佳杰出表现奖”（好感动，谢谢乐团！！）
~ 第一次在乐团面前训话时哭
~ 第一次参与钟灵严肃的毕业典礼
~ 第一次感到与中学生分离的哀伤
~ 第一次学车（ 好笑死啊！）
~ 第一次与邻居庆祝了很幼稚但怀念的圣诞节
~ 第一次在报章上因华乐而看见我的脸孔（很好笑又光荣）
~ 第一次去戏院看了精彩的High School Musical 3
~ 第一次在 Queensbay 现场看见Bosco
~ 第一次看见一对女子疯狂的坚叫及追明星
~ 第一次与凯壹和祥艺在CYC玩“三人敲机器”的游戏
~ 第一次与一对好朋友去“看人”
~ 第一次与好朋友等countdown得很久
~ 第一次爱上笛子和二胡。。。最爱的还是大提琴和琵琶！！
~ 第一次怀念钟中华乐团及钟灵中学
~ 第一次因钟中华乐团及钟灵中学而感到光荣
~ 第一次向2008年说声Bye...Bye!!


最后。。。。
2008年是我第一次
欢迎2009年！！
祝所有读者新年快乐！！
Happy @))(!!!